How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services
Difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
If you are stranded on a desert island…
If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
Why have some cities outlawed lawyers from going to the beach?
Why have some cities outlawed lawyers from going to the beach?
Because the cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, lawyers only screw us.
How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?
How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?
A lawyer has his hands in his own pocke
Difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight
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